Growing your network and gaining new connections is usually exciting, but sometimes those connections aren’t all you expected. Sometimes networking relationships require too much time and effort without any gain. They tend to ask for favor after favor without ever offering anything in return, your interests may no longer align, or you may just no longer need their help.
Whatever the reason may be that you’d like to disengage from a networking relationship, knowing how to end the relationship can be confusing. Ending a networking relationship takes care and a thoughtful touch. Keep reading to learn how to escape the right way.
How to revive a dead-end networking relationship?
Just because a relationship seems like it has no future doesn’t mean that’s the case. Before you rush to ditch your networking connection, take some time to consider how you could save the relationship. In most cases, maintaining a relationship is always better. As careers progress, you never know when that old contact could offer the advice you need or make the perfect introduction.
Before you start to revive a dead-end relationship, you’re going to need to brush up on communication skills. You’re bound to have a challenging conversation or two, so perfecting your active listening skills and making sure your interpersonal skills are strong is essential to master the art of reviving a dying networking conversation.
If they like to ask favors without reciprocating:
Sometimes the balance of a relationship becomes unbalanced. Networking connections may have no fear of asking for help but never seem to offer anything in return. If this is the case, try reviving the situation before purging them from your contact list. We recommend doing this in one of two ways.
If you’ve got a favor in mind, ask them for help. Sometimes people are happy to help, but they need guidance on how. If they are willing to help, the relationship may be beneficial after all.
If you aren’t sure how they can help you, sit down and have a conversation. Let them know you have been happy to help, but networking relationships can’t be one-sided. Be clear that you can continue to offer assistance, but they need to reciprocate.
Some situations aren’t fixable. If your relationship is a complete dead end, it’s time to disengage.
If your industry has changed:
Your networking connection may have been a great resource, but now one of you has changed industries, and your interest no longer align. It may seem easier to have one less contact to manage, but things change, and they might become a valuable resource in the future.
While we don’t recommend ending a relationship just because interests no longer align, you should consider lowering your time commitment. Let them know you appreciate all they have done thus far, but you may be in contact less often as you are switching industries. Be sure to tell them the industry you will be moving into. You never know if they have a connection that could help.
If you are retiring:
You may not need assistance from your network after retiring, but that doesn’t mean the relationship has to end. Instead, consider offering a mentoring relationship.
If their values don’t align with yours:
Everyone has their own opinions, but sometimes it’s more serious than the double-stuffed vs. original Oreos debate. If your networking connection has more controversial views that don’t align with yours, it might be time to distance yourself.
How do I end a networking relationship?
No one likes to be the one to end a relationship, but sometimes you have to be the bearer of bad news. For whatever reason you need to take a step back, we recommend always letting them know. While ghosting them might be the easier option, it could make you look bad, not just to them but to anyone they might know.
Ending a networking relationship can be as easy as a quick email, or it may require a longer in-person meeting, depending on your previous situation. Still, no matter how you break the news, there are a few things you should be sure to say.
1. Thank them
Tell them you appreciate their time and willingness to help. If they have offered any assistance, be sure to mention that.
2. Give a reason
Be sure they know why you won’t be in contact with them. Whether that be a change in industries, a long-term leave of absence, or any other reason, let them know that circumstances have changed. Be transparent about your situation, but always keep it positive. It is always best to avoid burning bridges.
3. Keep the door open (or don’t)
Let them know that even though you aren’t available to offer any assistance at the moment, they should always feel comfortable reaching out in the future. If you don’t want to keep the door open, opt for a closing wishing them the best of luck.
4. Update your contact
Now that you’ve done the hard part make sure you update your contact list to reflect the situation. If you use a smart address book, now is the perfect time to add a note or tag to indicate the current situation and jot down any important information you may need to remember later.
Main photo by Jessica Sysengrath on Unsplash
